bring back the FAP

This is the first time I've been out of a job since I moved to new york.

First impressions:

- days, in actuality, are kind of long
- all the unemployed people i know do yoga. do they give you money?
- unimpeachable desire to watch ghost world again and again but instantly feeling depressed at the end.
- i have few valuable possessions to sell. i should have dated more boys that bought me jewelry.
- maybe it doesn't hurt to be a little unethical to survive. not saying i'm going to start grifting or pick-pocketing, but you know.
- it's hard to not sound like a louse when asking to defer loans; I wouldn't even defer my loans for me.
- if i've been productive in anything, it's been drawing.



It will be interesting to see how things progress.

let's shut up

Sometimes the gesture is so simple, it gets labeled pretentious or purist.
But maybe that's a disconnect in talking about simplicity; by its very nature simplicity shouldn't require a ton of explanation, and in attempt to articulate how arresting, beautiful, or stupid you think something so minimal is, simplicity turns around and bites you. It makes you look like a fool as you stammer to relay the experience of your exchange.
Maybe the issue is not with the work, but in talking about the work.
If the work talks to you, shouldn't that be enough?

how to break a contract

YOUR WEIRD TURRETS FRIEND CAN'T BE IN OUR BAND.
HE'S TOO XxPUNKxX

world wide web

the internet has demystified and deflowered everything so you can know anything all the time forever.
the internet as i know it now will outlive me and you for sure, but it mutates as opposed to maturing.

when i google the internet on the internet i found the following:

alarmists:
from www.internetisshit.org

"And look what we've done with it. Food wrappers and soap operas now tell us to visit their websites. Money is pumped online by people who can't even spell HTML. All manner of pointless and irritating content is continually poured down the infinite hole of data, unfiltered and over-appreciated. In accepting freedom of speech, we can't hide from its consequences - which in this case is millions of terabytes of unreliable information, badly designed and clumsily written. We have failed our own creation and given birth something truly awful. We're just too busy cooing over the pram to notice."

"There's no point in undoing what has been done. What we need to do is to change our attitude. The internet isn't new any more. The evangelists have done their job. Everyone's heard of it even if they don't spend their lives logged on. Now its the job of the congregation to revolt. Chant it from the rooftops, spread it across your server, email it to your friends. The internet is shit."

neo-hippie blazin:




double-fisting with two left hands:



love and romance:



generational disconnects:

andrea's recipe

This one of my oldest best friends, and probably one of the smartest and most hilarious people I have ever met. She also has the most esoteric goal of anyone I know. She's learning american sign language and french so she can SIGN FOR DEAF FRENCH PEOPLE. I wanna start a sign language band with her. We will cover this:

ways to fix it

1. fold clothes and put in stacks according to utility and/or color.
2. empty ashtray, makeshift ashtray(s), gouache water, stale beer dregs, bad drawings bin.
3. eat pasta to afford nicer paper.
4. write a list.
5. keep deadlines plastic.
6. sleep less.
7. lament for five minutes.
8. accept it.
9. proceed.
10. invest yourself in others as a selfish diversion from your own problems to become more generous.
11. relate their problems to your problems as a means to connect through being selfish.
12. feel better being generous and selfish all at once.
13. walk really far away so you have to walk back with perspective.
14. drink a lot of water.
15. think about it, just don't think about thinking about it.
16. if you want it, simply ask for it.
17. argue for it.
18. or work for it.
19. or steal it.
20. just don't just think about it.

click drag, drag exhale

I have myself on this budget for the week that stagnates my fun-intake.
It's ok, because I have the internet. And when that cuts out, I can take a leisurely spin around my desktop.

I've been collecting snips of images I love;
if only for composition, color, or surprise.
I don't really discriminate; I just amass in hopes a common trend will form, and I can intuit a direction for a drawing, a story, or an outfit (I'm kidding, no I'm not).

Tour of My Desktop:



I like weird bulbous trees. Especially when they are stacked like this. It reminds me of a really horrific person, and the gesture of the tree is really weird.


I found this on topshop's website looking for normal-looking interview clothes for a boring office job I didn't want. I laughed for a really long time.



I have a thing for film stills where actors are reading letters.
I don't know how articulately I can elaborate on this, but I think it's the awareness that the author of that letter doesn't exist, and the letter may not even have an actual message on it.

It feels like a really bizarre prop because unlike a fake backdrop, or a set, it can't try and look any realer than a piece of paper with scribbles on it, and that's why it's not convincing. It doesn't and can't overcompensate. A movie set is designed to be lit in a way that makes it more believable, and movie sets often look fake in real life. A letter (fake or not) will always look like a letter if it's trying to be real. The only leverage it inherently has to show sincerity is the emotional response of the reader/actor, or contribution to the plot. Letters also add this layer of time and depth that's kind of disorienting. Movies fake real time and letters only strive to deepen this illusion. The letter exists as a record of intent and commitment to time spent transcribing, and also a scene we have been excluded from as an audience and must believe out of faith and loyalty to the story.

I guess that's why I always save these pictures.


Morandi! I used to hate you all the time. I blame the art school angst and stubbornness.
Still,it feels better to arrive at loving something in your own time.. it feels hard-won that way.
I love how he grounds his objects, and how they are common cups, boxes, and pots but they seem so anonymous and withholding. The warm, neutral colors, and how they huddle together like they're cold, or whispering secrets.



Tv always crops images in a strange and careless way. I guess because the composition is supposed to be temporary and constantly moving. The priority of what you're supposed to be paying attention to is always apparent, and the only subtlety employed may just be subliminal and slightly underhanded. I am also fond of the frame within the frame (tv screen in a movie still) and being forced in to the vantage point of the character.

If it’s that good, don’t take a picture.

It's incredibly frustrating when what you want to say gets snarled and enmeshed in so much bullshit.
The phatic overrides the sincere and conversation gets messy and droney.
Signify this motherfucking signifier.

becky's sheep

my former roommate's friend herds sheep in ireland.
this was her birthday present: